Finding a Good Psychologist: The Essentials
So finding a good psychologist or therapist can be very confusing. Like what is even the difference between those that call themselves a therapist vs. psychologist!?! I was going to start this post very analytically and list all the different types of therapists, what all the letters (e.g. LPC vs LMFT vs LCSW vs Ph.D.) meant at the end of everyone's name - but after mulling that over I decided that I would start off with the essentials of finding a good psychologist. Because in the end - if these are not "on point" - then the letters at the end don't really matter. So people, here are the absolute essentials - the thing all psychologists (or therapists) have to get right.
1.) Therapist- Client "Fit". You aren't going to like everyone, and everyone is not going to like you. It's just a fact of life. That being said having an immediate "spark" or "super warm fuzzy" feelings are not required to gain progress in therapy, but feeling comfortable and safe with your therapist is!!! There literally is no other relationship quite like it! Research has shown that the quality of the relationship with your therapist is more important than even the therapy modality. This is pretty amazing and shows the incredible power of authentic human connection. So if you are more than a few sessions in and you are feeling awkward, uncomfortable, or are doubting that you are in the right hands - voice your opinions! A good therapist will openly welcome these thoughts - sometimes these thoughts may relate to the very issues that are bringing you to therapy in the first place. When you are transparent about your concerns, this may lead to a better level of understanding or perhaps spur discussion about the "goodness of fit" between you and your therapist.
2.) Does the therapist have a speciality? Just like you wouldn't go to an ENT doctor for your GI troubles, many psychologists have specialty practices or niches that they focus on. I would shy away from seeing a clinician that "specializes in everything- or sees everyone" because generally it is really hard to be super good at all things. Specialties can range from age group, to presenting symptoms (e.g. depression, anxiety, OCD, health issues), or they can specialize in a certain treatment modality (psychodynamic vs ACT vs. CBT. vs DBT).
3.) The focus should be on you. Some therapist self-disclosure (therapy jargon for when therapists reveal personal things) may be carefully used in specific and planned ways to help clients. But generally speaking, you are paying for the therapist to listen to YOU and discuss YOU. When therapists start to discuss their own issues or personal experiences it takes the focus off the client and really blurs the boundaries of the client-therapist relationship. So if you notice yourself "taking care of" or being the therapist to your therapist, then this issue should be addressed in therapy and discussed.
4.) You have to respect them and feel that in some way they are your intellectual match. Make sure your therapist has the brain power to keep up with your mind. Therapists are not experts in everything and their job is to ask the right questions. To be sure, explaining is a part of the process, but when you find yourself explaining (and reexplaining) basic aspects of the things you are trying to convey then perhaps goodness of fit needs to be discussed.
5.) Online reviews can be helpful to a point. According to our ethical code of conduct, psychologists are barred from breaching client-patient confidentiality. So keep in mind that psychologists are placed in a particularly difficult position when compared to other service providers when responding to online reviews.
6.) When looking for a therapist for your child - simply finding a psychologist or therapist that is "good with kids" is not enough. I explain to parents that Clinical Child Psychology is a subspecialty of our field and psychologists usually have to complete specific training in Child Psychology to refer to themselves as a "Child Psychologist." So not only look for a therapist with specific training to work with children, but determine whether your psychologist/therapist has a particular age range that is their specialty. Developmentally, kids can be so different at every stage. Going to a psychologist that knows what to expect given your child's development (and is able to take this into account when providing therapy) is essential. Providing therapy to a 5 year old is completely different than providing therapy to a ten year old.
7.) The rules and expectations related to communication outside of therapy should be set up on the front end. The degree to which communication is encouraged outside of the therapy sessions is dependent on the individual therapist. There is not necessarily a "right" or "wrong " in this - but you should be clear about the expectations in terms of communication outside of sessions.
8.) They should hold you accountable. And when they (and you) feel ready they should be willing to call you out on "your stuff" - but ALWAYS in an appropriate and therapeutic way. You are not paying someone to be your friend or to just tell you what you want to hear. You are investing in a relationship that is unlike any other and part of the therapist's responsibility is to point out when maladaptive patterns emerge in session that may (or may not) be present in others areas of your life. Sometimes hearing this feedback can be uncomfortable and even painful - but the therapist is there to be your ally, not your friend. So if you feel a therapist is just "telling you what you want to hear" - point that out to them and use that a springboard for further discussion.
Want more information on how to find a great psychologist and the best therapy for you? My friend and colleague Nicholas Wignall, Ph.D. wrote a book on this very topic. Here is the link.
-Andrea
Hi! I’m Andrea Pihlaskari, Ph.D., and I’m a licensed psychologist who specializes in helping people with anxiety and health issues. If you or someone you love has questions about finding the psychologist that is right for you, email me or give me a call to schedule a free phone consultation.